If by chance they get their wife to “ok” their hobby, they get frustrated because she limits the firearms they can purchase and the time available for them to go to the range. The key is to make it a family activity, which can eliminate all three of these complaints and gain an activity the whole family can enjoy. (I’m not there yet in my own home)
If you find yourself in this position there are a number of resources that you can use to help your loved one down this path.
1) Honest discussion about your feelings. It likely won’t change her mind, but it will open the lines of communication and explain why it is important to you. Our wives love us and understanding that it is important to us will open their mind to it. The key is to only express your feelings and leave an open invitation to accompany you to the range or to go with one of her friends. This isn’t low pressure, it is NO PRESSURE, she has to come to it on her own.
2) Books. Kathy Jackson’s book the Cornered Cat: A Woman’s Guide to Concealed Carry is a 377 page book that explains many of the important aspects of concealed carry. She starts by answering why you might choose to carry a gun and addresses the moral justification of a Christian’s carrying a gun. She then progresses through the social, legal and safety concerns new shooters that have never been exposed to the gun culture, before ever discussing how to shoot or concealed carry. By giving them Kathy’s book you can let them digest it at their own pace and maintain the no pressure tactics.
3) Her friends and peers. Any beliefs that are held strongly can become part of a person’s identity (religion, political views, guns) and changing that identity can be very difficult. Exposure to the idea will begin to normalize it and discussing it with friends that are even “accepting” of the idea will help your significant other move away from that identity.
4) Woman friendly trainers and ranges. Once your wife has decided for herself that she wants to fire a gun (notice I didn’t say carry). Take her somewhere that she can learn about women’s only classes and learn to shoot in a male free environment. We have good intentions but can stifle questions and cause her to be self-conscious. At the very least you should not do the instruction.
Oddly if you want her to be able to protect herself with a firearm When the Balloon Goes Up! one of the last things you should do is to hand her a gun. The key is to let her come to the acceptance herself, because if you force it she will dig in her heals and become resentful.